Top Tips for Deciphering Directions Given in Islanderese
So, you have been invited to dinner at a friend’s house. You were told to go down to Crescent...
Satire
Talking Polar Bear Migrates South
Orcas Island is no stranger to occasional bear activity, but the recent arrival of a talking male polar bear...
There Are Freshmen Among Us: a Real Game-Changer
The graduating class of 2025, currently 8th graders, are some of the first freshmen to start high school without...
Horoscopes
Aries: Are you excited about the hybrid schedule? Haha, who are we kidding, we are going to be stuck...
Thian Armenia: A Student Shrouded in Absolute Darkness
Orcas Island High School students have now completed roughly six months of virtual learning. This means half a year...
The Sorry Plight of Student Athletes
For years, sports at Orcas Island High School have flourished. A large portion of students play sports in the...
The One Where We Quarantined: A Very COVID Christmas
The coronavirus pandemic has caused changes across the globe, and the North Pole is no exception. Despite the cancellation...
Landon Carter Joins “The Great British Baking Show”
(Note: this satire article has been written purely for entertainment purposes and is not factual in any way.) Landon...
Oprah and Macklemore Join Staff
Last week, Orcas Island High School’s student body was shocked when Principal Kyle Freeman announced that two new people...
Twenty Years Later: Looking Back on COVID-19
Suspicious virus / Contributed photo Today’s date is Jan. 20, 2040, twenty years after the first case of the...
Presidential Election: Unprecedented Update
Breaking news: Anwyn Thompson has dropped out of the race for the 2020 presidential election. “I have decided that...