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January 19, 2021
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Satire

The One Where We Quarantined: A Very COVID Christmas

a stocking full or cleaning supplies
The coronavirus pandemic has caused changes across the globe, and the North Pole is no exception. Despite the cancellation...
29th Edition, Legitimate News, Satire

Landon Carter Joins “The Great British Baking Show”

Landon on the show
(Note: this satire article has been written purely for entertainment purposes and is not factual in any way.) Landon...
29th Edition, Legitimate News, Satire

Oprah and Macklemore Join Staff

Oprah Winfrey on Google Meet
Last week, Orcas Island High School’s student body was shocked when Principal Kyle Freeman announced that two new people...
28th Edition, Legitimate News, Satire

Twenty Years Later: Looking Back on COVID-19

Suspicious virus / Contributed photo Today’s date is Jan. 20, 2040, twenty years after the first case of the...
28th Edition, Satire

Presidential Election: Unprecedented Update

Thompson hugs a tree
Breaking news: Anwyn Thompson has dropped out of the race for the 2020 presidential election. “I have decided that...
27th Edition, Legitimate News, Satire

Pluses of Online Class

A sleepy student in an online class
Most students were dismayed when they heard that the school year would be online for the rest of the...
27th Edition, Legitimate News, Satire

Student Fails at Humor

The drake meme: Writing a satire vs. Writing a satire about satire
This article is not funny, and only one joke will be told. If you want a laugh, you will...
27th Edition, Legitimate News, Satire

Answer To Age-Old Question Revealed: What Do Pets Dream About?

A fluffy cat dreaming
Attention all pet owners: a new study has hit the internet, offering us in-depth views on how to tell...
26th Edition, April 1st, Satire

Bathroom Stalls Dominate Students’ Lives

Sutton rocking a double thumbs up
We do not discuss it, but we all have it in common: a deep emotional attachment to a specific...
26th Edition, April 1st, Legitimate News, Satire

Turtleback Secret: A Threat To Tourism?

The orca box turtle lifting its head from the earth
Orcas Island is a very popular tourist destination. The county knows this, and wants to make the summer times...
26th Edition, April 1st, Satire, Student

Orcas Island School Potholes At Risk

A thermometer in a puddle reads 188.8 Fahrenheit
Apparently, the potholes currently menacing Orcas Island School District student drivers have tested positive for COVID-19, the illness caused...
26th Edition, April 1st, Legitimate News, Satire

New Frontrunner, Presidential Hope

Thompson behind the presidential podium.
We are getting closer and closer to election day and we have a last-minute addition to the presidential race:...
26th Edition, April 1st, Satire
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