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January 31, 2023
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31st Edition

Molly’s Mediocre Metrical Musings

Be ready to be disapointed If you are reading this poem, be ready to be disappointed. The speling is...
31st Edition, April 1st, Legitimate News, Poetry

Distance Learning at OIHS Continues Past Logicality

A student plays an online driving game.
As students across Washington State increasingly head back into classrooms in various hybrid models, some worry that opportunities to...
31st Edition, April 1st, Satire, Student

Teaching Grandparents How to use Technology

GRANDMA Hi, Sarah. Thank you for coming over to help me with all of this technology. It all  starts...
31st Edition, April 1st, Satire

Every Senior’s Worst Nightmare

The class of 2021 is now facing the same plight as the generations of students that have come before...
31st Edition, April 1st, Satire

Carter’s Kitchen: Udderly Authentic Grilled Cheese

A grilled cheese sandwich
Ingredients: Pound Cake 4 eggs 1 cup (2 sticks) unsalted butter, softened 1 cup granulated sugar 1 ½ cup...
31st Edition, April 1st, Legitimate News, Student

Viking Voice Staff Takes Credit for Baffling Anomalies

Over the last few years, earthquakes, eclipses, floods, snowstorms, insurrections, and even worldwide pandemics have all been normalized. In...
31st Edition, April 1st, Legitimate News, Satire, Student

Senior Prank Fail

You may think that the first few weeks back to school would have been uneventful, but thanks to the...
31st Edition, April 1st, Legitimate News, Satire

Ask Ed: an Orcas Island Student Advice Column

Dear Ed, Because we have to use our computer cameras all the time, I can no longer cover mine...
31st Edition, Advice, April 1st, Satire

Horoscopes

Aries: Happy Birthday! You are so lucky — you get to celebrate 2 birthdays under the fear of COVID....
31st Edition, April 1st, Horoscopes, Legitimate News, Satire

Top Tips for Deciphering Directions Given in Islanderese

So, you have been invited to dinner at a friend’s house. You were told to go down to Crescent...
31st Edition, Advice, April 1st, Satire

Talking Polar Bear Migrates South

Orcas Island is no stranger to occasional bear activity, but the recent arrival of a talking male polar bear...
31st Edition, April 1st, Legitimate News, Satire

Be Very Careful What You Read Online

31st Edition, April 1st, Arts, Comics
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