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May 3, 2025
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Category: Legitimate News

Presidential Election: Unprecedented Update

Thompson hugs a tree
Breaking news: Anwyn Thompson has dropped out of the race for the 2020 presidential election. “I have decided that...
27th Edition, Legitimate News, Satire

Pluses of Online Class

A sleepy student in an online class
Most students were dismayed when they heard that the school year would be online for the rest of the...
27th Edition, Legitimate News, Satire

Horoscopes

Aries: Do not worry, calories during quarantine do not count. Taurus: Bad internet connection does not excuse your obvious...
27th Edition, Horoscopes, Legitimate News

Student Fails at Humor

The drake meme: Writing a satire vs. Writing a satire about satire
This article is not funny, and only one joke will be told. If you want a laugh, you will...
27th Edition, Legitimate News, Satire

Cascade Lake Finally Engulfs Entire Island

Cascade lake swells with water
We Washingtonians are no strangers to rain. In fact, many who live in the Pacific Northwest are more surprised...
26th Edition, April 1st, Legitimate News, Student

Horoscopes

Aries: You say you are happy to not have to go to school. Just wait until you have been...
26th Edition, April 1st, Horoscopes, Legitimate News

Bathroom Stalls Dominate Students’ Lives

Sutton rocking a double thumbs up
We do not discuss it, but we all have it in common: a deep emotional attachment to a specific...
26th Edition, April 1st, Legitimate News, Satire

Orcas Island School Potholes At Risk

A thermometer in a puddle reads 188.8 Fahrenheit
Apparently, the potholes currently menacing Orcas Island School District student drivers have tested positive for COVID-19, the illness caused...
26th Edition, April 1st, Legitimate News, Satire

Mirrorlessness

Freshmen attempt to use a spoon as a mirror
Anyone who has ever laid eyes on the unique, meticulously-designed interior of the boys’ locker room might have questioned,...
26th Edition, April 1st, Legitimate News

The Roaring 20s Roar Into This Century

An artistic blend of modern and past Times Square
Many of us look back fondly on the roaring ‘20s with its booming economy, emerging jazz music, and of...
25th Edition, Legitimate News

Punxsutawney Phil Makes History

Punxsutawny Phil in the Oval Office.
Seventeen days ago, Punxsutawney Phil began his annual revelation like any other, lumbering into the weak winter sunlight to...
25th Edition, Legitimate News

Snow Days Hold Students Captive Until June

A student builds a snowman
Wow! It is that time of year again. The season of cold weather, spending time indoors, and seeing that...
25th Edition, Legitimate News, Satire
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