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December 7, 2023
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Category: 26th Edition

Cascade Lake Finally Engulfs Entire Island

Cascade lake swells with water
We Washingtonians are no strangers to rain. In fact, many who live in the Pacific Northwest are more surprised...
26th Edition, April 1st, Legitimate News, Student

Answer To Age-Old Question Revealed: What Do Pets Dream About?

A fluffy cat dreaming
Attention all pet owners: a new study has hit the internet, offering us in-depth views on how to tell...
26th Edition, April 1st, Satire

Horoscopes

Aries: You say you are happy to not have to go to school. Just wait until you have been...
26th Edition, April 1st, Horoscopes, Legitimate News

Bathroom Stalls Dominate Students’ Lives

Sutton rocking a double thumbs up
We do not discuss it, but we all have it in common: a deep emotional attachment to a specific...
26th Edition, April 1st, Legitimate News, Satire

Turtleback Secret: A Threat To Tourism?

The orca box turtle lifting its head from the earth
Orcas Island is a very popular tourist destination. The county knows this, and wants to make the summer times...
26th Edition, April 1st, Satire, Student

Orcas Island School Potholes At Risk

A thermometer in a puddle reads 188.8 Fahrenheit
Apparently, the potholes currently menacing Orcas Island School District student drivers have tested positive for COVID-19, the illness caused...
26th Edition, April 1st, Legitimate News, Satire

“Decaffeinated Woman in a Caffeine World” Takes The Globe By Storm

Abreu at the 2020 Grammys
Local musical artist Sharon Abreu recently shocked the world with the astronomical rise of her hit song “Decaffeinated Woman...
26th Edition, April 1st

Mirrorlessness

Freshmen attempt to use a spoon as a mirror
Anyone who has ever laid eyes on the unique, meticulously-designed interior of the boys’ locker room might have questioned,...
26th Edition, April 1st, Legitimate News

New Frontrunner, Presidential Hope

Thompson behind the presidential podium.
We are getting closer and closer to election day and we have a last-minute addition to the presidential race:...
26th Edition, April 1st, Satire
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