Aries – I hate to break it to you, but money is an object. Please stop spending it.

Taurus – We get it, you went on a holiday vacation. You can stop talking about it now…





Gemini – We have nothing bad to say about you Gemini, we love both of your personalities!

Cancer – Finals got you down huh? Try studying next time.

Leo – You should pay more attention in science class; that way you’d know the earth revolves around the sun and NOT you.

Virgo – You have less than a week left in the semester and 34 missing assignments, now is not the time to be reorganizing your room!!

Libra – Just because your partner doesn’t listen to the 7-hour long playlist you made them doesn’t mean they don’t love you. Don’t get too upset about it.

Scorpio – We get that you’re a procrastinator, just stop saying, “ill do it later!” We all know you’re not going to do it later.

Sagittarius – You call it independence, we call it emotional detachment. Po-tay-o, po-tah-to.

Capricorn – Blocking someone because of a minor inconvenience isn’t the way to handle conflict btw.

Aquarius – Aquarius, in the coming week please try– what? Yes, we know you’re in a relationship. Can you please let us get through this horoscope?






Pisces – Yay, you made it through the holidays! No more crying at family dinners for at least 6 months.