The Monster Upstairs

Corey Wiscomb and I sat down minutes before the start of AP Studio Art in order to suit out the issue of his beastly animal noises he utters; especially those created during his recent foosball endeavors. Such animal noises have been heard from Corey since the beginning of his career, however, only with the recent installation of a foosball table directly adjacent to the old art room’s door have students begun to truly question Corey’s real nature.

Emma Heikkinen: Has playing foosball spiked your interest in making animal noises?

Corey Wiscomb: I have been drawn to noises my whole life, so foosball is just a continued exploration of noise and sonic adventures for me.

EH: Thank you. What goes through your head while making your foosball noises?

CW: Absolutely nothing.

EH: Just pure nothingness.

CW: Pure joy of the foos. I channel the foos.

EH: How much, on a scale of 1 to 10, do you enjoy foosball?

CW: I have to give that an 11.

EH: Of course. Here’s a question from Keith: if you could be a player in a human foosball table, would you?

CW: I don’t know! I kinda like to spread my legs sometimes, and those guys — they’re just — kinda stiff there. I also like to bend my knees. I prefer to drive.

EH: When did you first discover your passion for animal noises?

CW: Well, it comes from being raised in the jungle by wild cats, and I naturally had to speak their language.

EH: Was that your first language?

CW: Yeah. So, speaking that [LOUD YOWLING, HISSING, GROWLING] jungle cat noise came to me probably before this English language thing.

EH: Did you take many English to Animal language courses growing up?


Corey was originally raised in the wild. Image Credit: Chris Waage

CW: It was hard! I had to take the ATE program, the Animal to English, for a while. I had to work really hard, probably twice as hard as any other student that didn’t have that. But that’s why, you know, you get stronger from it.

EH: Yeah, you just learn from your experiences.

CW: Mhm. And now when I go back into the wild, I can translate from the animals for the people, yeah. Important. We need that. We need more people to translate between Animal and English. It would really help our world.

EH: Just put that on Rosetta Stone, you know?

CW: Mhm.

EH: Have you ever created any foosball art?

CW: Uh, other than the art of foos itself, I have not created a visual piece representative of foos, no.

EH: Just creating it every day with your body?

CW: Yes, that’s correct. It’s a living art.

EH: How do you warm up your vocal cords?

CW: Well, you might do a series of exercises, you might even start with yawns, but usually you start very soft in the very low register and kind of like, [UNDULATING “AH” NOISE] come back down to gently warm up the voice. You don’t wanna go too hard, you gotta relax it.

EH: How long does it usually take you to do these exercises?

CW: Well, some days it’s 30 minutes, other days, just a few.

EH: Some students have pondered upon the notion that there could be a yeti upstairs, namely, Enzo. How do you feel about this accusation?

CW: I don’t have enough hair to be a yeti, but I have seen something up in the rafters, and maybe they’re talking about that.

EH: Probably.

CW: I think his name is Elmo.

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