Aries: Do not ask me what the meaning of life is. I say it is french fries and peanut butter, but that is probably incorrect.
Taurus: When in doubt, eat a lot of donuts. And ugli fruit.
Gemini: Who? What? Oh, he is in the parking lot riding his scooter.
Cancer: Everyone’s favorite food: kumquats!
Leo: Why are grapefruits so big? Probably the same reason why life is hard.
Virgo: I am so good at taking IQ tests.
Libra: 95% of people who read this don’t find the problem in the the sentence: abcdefghijklmnopqrstuvwxyz.
Scorpio: When life gives you oranges…
Sagittarius: Can I please get another porcupine? It will only be my 458th.
Capricorn: My favorite sound is an octopus opening a jar of jam covered in plastic wrap underwater.
Aquarius: Beware of falling lemons, unless you live in Florida.
Pisces: Ma’am, please bring the pound of limes back. You said you only wanted the peels.