Horoscopes

Aries: March 21 – April 19 – Have a little rummage through your bag as a reward.

Taurus: April 20 – May 20 – You’re absolutely the chill one. Don’t even listen to them, you’re literally so chill.

Gemini: May 21- June 21 – Turn the heat up a little more, most humans are cold-blooded.

Cancer: June 22- July 22 – You’re doing a good job.

Leo: July 23 – August 22 – Text first, try it out, I bet it’ll be fun.

Virgo: August 23 – September 22 – Empty sparkling water bottles are not the same as maximalism.

Libra: September 23 – October 23 – A little treat will make you feel better. Just go get one, it’s alright.

Scorpio: October 24 – November 21 – Take a deep breath, fold some origami, practice your mindfulness.

Sagittarius: November 22 – December 21- Updating your style is not the same as self-work.

Capricorn: December 22-January 19 – It’s okay to take a quick breather! Please!

Aquarius: January 20 – February 18 – Your car breaking down in the middle of the road is not normal, please just go to a mechanic.

Pisces: February 19 – March 20 – If you look in the same pocket again I bet your pen will be there. Just one more time, I swear.