Safety Tips for This Halloween Season

The Hordes of Halloween

The Hordes of Halloween / Photoshopper: Logan Babcock

Halloween is a great time to have fun with friends, but if you want to be out all night, you need to be prepared. So here are three tips for staying safe on Halloween night.

Visibility

If you are walking during the nighttime, you should always have a flashlight on you and a mental map of your surroundings. Make sure you don’t start veering off into the road. Also, make sure your costume is not obstructing your ears so you can hear cars coming.

Overheating

We all want to be the person with the biggest, most extravagant costume, but what you have to remember is that you shouldn’t wear too many layers. Walking in a heavy costume for hours will almost certainly leave you overheated and exhausted, so take breathers along the way.

Goblins

Yes, goblins are everywhere this season, roaming our streets, prowling in our forests. They are not just annoying little ghouls you can avoid going into combat with. The goblins that you are going to see popping out of their goblin nest are hungry for blood, shiny jewels, and mini Charleston Chews®. They are going to be rushing at you with reckless abandon, knives brandished, and flailing serpent-like tongues.

You may be looking off into the woods and think you see a goblin, but more often than not, it’s really just a badger, dog, or hobgoblin. To dispel confusion, here is some information on the appearance and behavior of a goblin: most goblins are two or three feet tall, have a slouched stature, a potbelly, large tent-like ears, a hooked nose, and are green, olive, or jet black in color. It is crucial to keep your guard up for the jet-black variety. Whether you are walking outside this Halloween night or are in a dimly lit room, there may be any number of goblins surrounding you that you simply cannot see. If you are unlucky enough to cross eyes with a goblin, you’ll be met with the characteristic exaggerated sneer plastered on its face. This is a sneer that gives off an air of confidence, like they know something you don’t, something that if you did know it wouldn’t even matter because they’re already ten steps ahead of you, and any move you make is just playing into their elaborate sequence of sneak attacks whose sole intent is to leave you either out of cash for the week or dead.

     A swift kick to the shins will make quick work of most goblins, but for a less confrontational option, we asked the advice of English teacher Maurice Austin. “As relatively small creatures, goblins can be easily intimidated by an unwavering human presence. If and when a goblin is rushing towards you, by standing your ground and concentrating all your energy into a single, prolonged gaze, you can send any young goblin running.”