Don’t forget to buy flowers for your valentine! Oh, wait….
If they give you gum every day they’re not being nice, you’re being Pavlov-ed. Stay aware.
Think you’re so smart? Try saying a tongue twister. That’s what I thought. Bonehead.
BATMAN CALZONY?!?!?!?! AVOCADO PLUSHIE?!?!?!?!?!?
We would criticize your ego, but we both know you’d just be happy we’re talking about you.
You don’t actually miss Freshman year, you just miss having a sense of control over your future.
We all know you’re traveling over break, the repetitive reminders are becoming annoying.
Love is in the air. So are clouds. Cloud rhymes with loud. Be quiet more often.
We realize one bad experience with a Sagittarius doesn’t validate our anger. We genuinely hope you have a wonderful month and only good things come to you. Unless you’re ******. You know what you did.
Heart chocolates are only $10, this is a formal hint.
You don’t “love them” you’ve just tied much of your identity to them liking you and now feel incomplete without their approval. Therapy does wonders.
Re-entering your Lana Del Rey phase does not count as character development. You’re actually devolving.