– Please stop singing Christmas songs, we’ve barely had a chance to take down Halloween decorations.
– Could your quirky “emotional unavailability” not actually be so quirky?? Instead, something to go to therapy for, perhaps??
– If you’re really so excited to leave the island, why have you listened to “Rivers and Roads” so many times this
– There’s a difference between playfully scaring your friends and legitimately traumatizing them. Please learn it.
– Choosing to shop every time you’re faced with a minor setbacks does not actually solve any your problems.
– This year we’re going to try a new thing called “communication!” It’s where when you have a problem you talk about it instead of being mean until someone figures out what’s wrong.
– We know the year has been tough, but you’re tougher! Like a poorly cooked steak.
– “Scorpio season” is not a valid reason to cause chaos or excuse any of your bad actions, Happy Birthday though:)
– You don’t seem like the type to take advice from an horoscope column, but on December 16th at 2:20pm, watch out.
– Standing up for yourself and not burying your problems at the gym is actually super cool, you should try it sometime!
– We are genuinely glad you had a good halloween, but don’t you think you might be a little old for trick-or-treating?
– Telling your friends you’re having the “best day ever” and then crying a few hours later is not a very stable way to live.