Claus corporation receives criticism, a green Santa ensues

Santa’ s new sleigh / Contributed Photo

In recent years, criticism has fallen upon Claus Corporations for their unsustainable and inhumane practices. Accusations of attempting to cheap out instead of fully committing have been flung harshly, so I sat down to talk with some representatives of CC to discuss the controversies and where their company is going from here.

Perhaps because of the harsh criticisms as well as increasing awareness of their impact, the move from the North to the South Pole that occurred earlier this fall because of melting ice caps will come with several other alterations.

Notable changes effective immediately include a switch from coal to solar panels in the stockings of children who are on the naughty list and a transition from the resource exploitation elf-based power currently used in Santa’s workshop to a more steady and renewable belief-based system.

The new factory being built at the South Pole will have several advantages over the previous one. There were reported problems of unconstrained sugar plum waste leaking into the surrounding snow, but according to the Claus press team, the new factory will be leak free with a top-of-the-line dream recycling system.

Other equipment standards are being improved in the new factory, including a transition from candy cane and gingerbread as building materials to less risky materials like metal and wood.

Another advantage of this forced move from North to South is that the long-lived demands of the elf union regarding the consistent workplace casualties involving polar bears will finally be met. As no polar bears exist at the South Pole, casualties have dropped dramatically in the last few months, and hopefully this trend will continue.

Concerns about the removal of reindeer from their natural habitat in the north have also been raised, so it has been determined that Santa’s sleigh will now be employing penguins instead. These tiny suited birds will be making the journey in for their first day of work this upcoming Christmas, so if any gifts are distributed incorrectly, the Clauses are asking for your patience with their newest trainees.

The Clauses aim to have all of their businesses carbon neutral by 2030 and carbon negative by 2050.