Vote for My Pack o’ Pats

Pack o' Rats

Contributed Photo

Please vote for my pack of rats for mayor of Eastsound. I have been the proud owner of a pack of rats for three years now; the pack has gotten me through the best of times and the worst of times; they always know how to cheer me up. I have been living with the rats for three years, but they have been living with me much longer, surviving under my porch for four years. Until I found them, that is. I usually feed the rats dog food, as rat food is hard to come by these days, but their favorite food is carcass. The rats are very healthy, and still very fast even as they get older. The pack is super friendly, and if you ever see them around Eastsound, do not be afraid to come over and say hi (they do bite, though, a lot.) What is great about voting for a pack of animals is just that, they are a pack, so instead of just getting one dog or one cat, you are getting 33 rats.

I really think the pack is special, for example, they are so good at teamwork; they can eat a whole carcass in 20 seconds flat. The leader of the pack appears to be Rizzo, the largest and strongest of the rats, but remember, when you vote for the pack, you are voting for all 33 rats collectively. The rats are very sensitive beings; when the pack loses one of its members, you can tell that they are really distraught. I really love going on walks with the pack around the trails of Moran State Park, though I can hardly keep up with their sheer speed. Besides that, the pack’s favorite activities are playing fetch, chasing laser pointers, and finding other packs of rats and attacking them (they always win). Mayor of Eastsound has always been held by singular animals: one dog, one cat, one cow. When is the time for 33 rats? Today is the time. We need more diversity in animals that are going to be mayor. I dream of a day when the mayor of Eastsound is a gopher, or a sea cucumber, or maybe hundreds of ants. I love the pack, and I hope you will too.