‘Bout to drop a nuke / Photoshopper: Eve Eon
A mere few weeks ago, our resident history teacher, Mr. Comito revealed a shocking secret to his students. Phil Comito has started his career as a rap artist, laying down funky beats and spitting bars to match. To keep it a secret, he used the alias: Mr. C-Flow. There was an aura of amazement around the campus, students couldn’t believe that the man who teaches AP US History in first period could also be one of the top artists on their Spotify account. A week later, a student, who has since chosen to remain anonymous challenged Mr. C-Flow to a rap battle. C-Flow agreed. The battle would take place Friday, May 19, behind the school. A crowd had gathered round, and our principal, Kyle Freeman laid down a sick hip hop beat, and Mr. C-Flow started it off.
(Verse 1)
Yo, Mr. C-Flow spitting flames on the stage,
While you stumble through history like a clueless page.
You’re a walking contradiction, a historical mess,
I’ll school you so hard, leave you in distress.
Your knowledge of American history is weak,
Like a broken record, your facts always squeak.
You’re a Benedict Arnold, a traitor to the day,
I’ll expose your ignorance, drop bombs like Enola Gay.
(Chorus)
This is the rap, where C-Flow dominates,
Unveiling your ignorance, sealing your fate.
Your claims are false, your arguments hollow,
C-Flow’s bringing heat, all while you wallow.
(Verse 2)
Let’s talk about the Constitution, the cornerstone of our land,
But you twist its meaning like a snake in the sand.
You’re a modern-day McCarthy, spreading fear and lies,
But I’ll resurrect truth, watch your credibility demise.
You’re like Andrew Johnson, opposing progress with might,
But I’m here to fight for justice, set things right.
Your ignorance of civil rights is a shameful blight,
I’m Liberty, standing tall, shining a light.
(Chorus)
This is the rap, where C-Flow dominates,
Unveiling your ignorance, sealing your fate.
Your claims are false, your arguments hollow,
C-Flow’s bringing heat, all while you wallow.
Mr. C-Flow, schooling opponents with history and insults
combined. Knowledge is power, and you’re no match for this
lyrical mind.
The crowd was left speechless. Not a word was spoken. Mr. C-Flow’s opponent simply set his mic on the ground and walked away.