A Junior suffering from Junioritis / Photographer: Thian Armenia
I have contracted junioritis, and I know for a fact that I am not the only one in my grade showing similar symptoms. This outbreak has become an epidemic, and someone needs to put a stop to it. But first, it makes sense to share some of the symptoms, so those who are infected can realize their condition before too much damage is done.
Early-onset senioritis – more commonly known as junioritis – is often thought of as just a joke to describe juniors’ lazy behavior, but it is a real disease with real symptoms, such as an excess or lack of sleep, general lethargy, and unwillingness to complete assignments. During an interview with a junior on the effects of early-onset senioritis, I was informed of another symptom when they told me “excessive crying” was likely linked to the disease.
My most interesting revelations while pursuing this story came from my interview with a senior who had experienced the transition from junioritis to senioritis. They told me that they believe the “itis” comes “from the overwhelming workload.” I then questioned them whether they had ever been just “whelmed,” confusing them greatly. The other student I interviewed, the junior, insisted they contracted the disease “like, the moment I stepped into Brit Lit,” confirming the senior’s suspicion of it being caused by the student being overworked.
Now that you know the symptoms and the causes of the disease, I suppose those of you who have just realized you have it would like to know the cure. Contrary to the senior’s rather bleak belief that “there is no cure,” I have discovered one through countless hours of procrastination and two minutes of research. Behold, as I inform you of the cure to junioritis and senioritis.
Well, I would if I felt like finishing this article. But… eh.