Harmless Hot Takes

In a world full of polarization, we bring you more. But this time it is only for fun. Get way too invested in dumb things and take a stance on some of our harmless hot takes. 

All pubs and bistros should serve cute little tea sets until noon:

Pubs, bistros and bars are, unfortunately, such one-trick-ponies. Sure, beer and Burgers are great. But they take up an enormous portion of downtown real estate, leaving little space for any variety of shops and eateries. Therefore, we should require that all such classic one-trick restaurants serve breakfast, scones, little cakes, tea, and coffee (with teapots, cups, cream and sugar, the whole spread) before the hour of noon. This versatility will both improve the quality of the pubs in question (as they will be forced to improve their atmosphere) and create more space around town.

Fruit leather is vegan bacon:

Bacon is delicious. The salty fat is undeniably tasty, and any morning when the aroma and sizzling sound are part of the ambiance is a good one. However, there are those who do not consume meat, and how can they enjoy bacon? Well the answer is that they should not. They should stop looking for alternatives made out of soy or beans and start appreciating what they already have: fruit leather. It is delicious and compressed into healthy strips that are reminiscent of bacon. If you choose not to eat meat, accept your fate and snack on fruit leather, instead of complaining about your lack of options.

Ivy League is a dumb name:

It is obvious that Ivy League schools think they are better than the rest of the schools in the US. Those who go to these exclusive colleges and universities take every opportunity to mention it, so the name should fit that notion. They should be called Gold League schools. Just as gaudy and pretentious as the students and alumni. The name “Ivy League” does not even mean anything. It originates from a sports article, with ivy being synonymous with old. Sure, the colleges are old, but so are many others. They should just say how they really feel: Gold League.

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