As many students of Orcas Island High School are already aware, a certain student, known as Dagny Krüger, will be departing from the high school several weeks early this spring, in order to go on an expedition. However, this absence from school was sure to cause her issues with finals, final projects and attendance, and that is where our heroic student of the month steps in. Six-Inch Dagny has decided to emerge from the cardboard postal box where she has resided for the majority of her life, and pick up the slack in the classes left behind. Bravely taking on courses such as AP United States History and American Literature in the last few weeks, this upstanding cardboard cutout will surely be raising the bar for all other students, who tend to slack off as the year comes to a close.
Another amazing quality of Six-Inch Dagny, is her determination to overcome her inability to move. To beat this hurdle in her path she has reached out, made friends and arranged to be brought to her classes. Teachers can rest assured that this intrepid student will be in class when the bell has rung. However, she will require some rules to be bent — such as no standing on tables. Her small stature of six inches in total will require her to stand on top of desks in order to see and be heard. She is quite sensitive about her height, so please refrain from calling her Six-Inch Dagny in her presence. Avoiding this phrase will also help to not tip the teachers off as to the fact that the real Dagny is MIA. All students should prepare to welcome this last-minute replacement student with open arms as she valiantly surmounts the seemingly insurmountable final days of school.