After a long and grueling day, having run five kilometers in sub twenty minutes, the cross country team was now ravenous. These starved teenage boys could eat more than just a horse, they could eat mountains of rice, grilled chicken, and rice.
The cross country team’s coaches, with all their wisdom, were forced to make the most financially affordable choice to somehow fill the taverns inside the stomachs of the boys cross country team.
These boys had poured all their energy into running absurdly fast for a decent distance, and for what? An empty stomach? This needed to be fixed.
They needed a restaurant that served a lot of food for as little money as possible. A place where, ideally, you could order a meal, and then order another, and another, until you’re belly was full.
The choice came easily to the coaches. They knew where they needed to go: Olive Garden.
And off they went to Olive Garden, famously known for the “never ending” menu options. Never ending breadsticks, never ending pasta, and never ending salad. For the price of a regular entrée, you could order it again and again without paying any extra fees.
A dream compromise for both the team and the coaches, but neither could imagine how it could go so wrong.
The dinner began normally, all eight boys sat down and glanced at the menu. They already knew what they wanted to order, and got on with it quickly. They wanted their food and they wanted it fast. After having ordered, they became even more eager to eat. Restless legs bumping up and down under the table, fingers tapping on the table, fork and knife in each hand demanding to be fed. They chatted mindlessly, laughing loudly, and the rest of the restaurant couldn’t help but notice the space taken up by this group of young boys.
As the waiter approached, with plates stacked long up on top of each of their arms, the boys smiled widely and cheered. There has never been a more joyous sight.
The plates had barely left the fingertips of the waiter before the boys dug in. They snarfed down their first plate greedily, mmm’ing and aaa’ing at the delectable food placed in front of them mere moments before. The waiter did not even leave the table before collecting the empty plates.
The players, somewhat satiated, still desired to be absolutely stuffed. If you have attempted to feed a young boy, you would know that no matter how much food you seem to give them, just minutes later they will complain that they are still hungry.
The Olive Garden staff knew this. They had prepared themselves for this moment their entire life.
Never before had this institution worked so efficiently. Never before has a machine been so flawless, gears so oiled, clockwork so consistent.
Through the doors the waiters came, arms extended holding more plates then one would think physically possible, with even more stacked on top of their heads, and even some balancing on the tops of their shiny shoes.
With elegance and control, they practically pirouetted towards the boys table. The boys, if one could even begin to describe their reaction, were elated. Their smiled from ear to ear, their eyes grew large and cute like anime characters. They will never forget this joy.
Each waiter stood behind each boy. Just as quickly as a plate was set down was it absolutely devoured. Plate after plate after plate, the boys ate and ate and ate. The couches watched in awe as the boys stuffed their faces with more pasta and breadsticks then one could imagine would even fit in their stomachs. A pile of empty plates stacked all the way to the way to the ceiling became two, then three, then ten.
The rest of the restaurant too, was in awe. Nobody could do anything but stare at the absolutely miracle that is the insatiable hunger of the young men.
In the end, the couches paid a little over 150 dollars for the entire dinner, but the boys ate the equivalent of 1 million dollars worth of pasta and breadsticks, effectively putting Olive Garden into bankruptcy.
But, on the bright side, at least they were finally full.