Dear Fauntleroy,
I am currently experiencing a level of impatience higher than I thought possible. Summer is almost here–summer break to be more specific–and summer break means freedom. No more tests, no more essays, just pure, limitless opportunities. There are so many fun things I have planned, like swimming, laying out in the sun, probably a hike or two, and even more swimming. Summer is, without a doubt, the best. The problem is: the closer summer gets, the longer each individual day gets. The amount of times I have looked at the clock only to see that maybe three minutes have passed when it feels like at least ten should have passed is making me lose my mind. I actually just cannot take it anymore. The wait for summer is killing me. So I come to you, Fauntleroy. You must undoubtedly have many summers under your belt. So how do you do it? How do you deal with the agony that is waiting for summer?
Sincerely, A Desperate Student
Dear A Desperate Student
I, the great and incredibly wise Fauntleroy, sympathize with your plight. However it appears to me that you have made one critical error. I am a cat, I do not go to school, I am essentially on a break whether it be summer or winter. I am sure what you are going through is terrible, but I simply would not know. How about this: in order to try and cheer you up I will tell you a secret. A secret that most people don’t know: I literally don’t have a single care in the world. Life is like a lazy river for me. I am completely cared for and can do whatever I want whenever I want. Being a cat might actually be the highest form of living that there is. So the only advice I can really give regarding your issue is this: become a cat. Starting now until summer break dedicate all your free time into inventing a way to turn into a cat. If you fail, then the project will pass the time and summer break will be here before you know it. If you succeed, then you will be living the good life.
Sincerely, Fauntleroy