Looking towards next year, many schools are reevaluating their finances as budget cuts loom. This has taken the form of many different responses in order to try and reduce spending while simultaneously trying to retain the same quality of education for their students. Recently released press statements from Orcas Island High School have indicated an interesting solution to this particular problem.
“Clones, clones are the answer” school principal Kyle Freeman recently stated. Yes, the plan is to clone one of the schools teachers and then have both themselves and the clones, which are essentially indistinguishable from the original, teach the high school classes. Later in the interview Freeman was cited as saying “it’s far from our first choice, but right now it may be our best.”
While many contenders are being considered, the current front runner, according to internal Viking Voice analysts, is Mr. Waage. Mr. Waage has been a dedicated employee of the Orcas Island School District for years and seems to be a perfect fit for the role. While the original would continue to teach computer science classes, the clones would be responsible for everything from teaching AP calculus to the janitorial work. “His brilliant mind and muscular physique make his clones suitable for a wide range of possible jobs” said one of our internal analysts.
It will be interesting to see how this change pans out over the next year, and to see where this idea may go from there. Current secretary of education, Linda McMahon, said in a recent interview with AP journalists: “This is just a trial run, but if successful could mark a huge change in our future plans. We could see Mr. Waage replacing roles in countless other districts and eventually becoming the default for many students throughout the education system.” We reached out for a reply from Mr. Waage, but have yet to receive a response. He may be apprehensive about this prospect seeing as he would still only get one salary. Stay tuned for more information on this rapidly developing idea.